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Sponsored Post

2006-12-16T21:47:00.000-08:00

So you all know that I am a freak for reality tv. One thing that interests me is the idea of TV shows on the internet. Like lonelygirl for instance. The guy behind PPP has made his own TV show, called Rock Startup. I'm not sure why it is called that really, but everytime I read it I always thing "Rock Star Up."

Which really has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Anyway, if you go to the website you can watch all the episodes. I think they are up to three episodes now.

Basically the show is about PPP's founder, Ted Murphy, who is kind of a goofy guy who came up with the idea of PPP and then was able to secure three million dollars in investments to get it started. It's rather interesting, because you can tell Ted doesn't quite believe it himself. He kind of has this look like, "How the hell did I just convince someone to give me three million dollars." And really, who can blame him, because if someone gave me three million dollars I am sure my reaction would be the same.

This is basically reality TV mixed with a documentary on how people start businesses like this mixed with an Apprentice like feel, minus Donald and his hair, with a dash of excitement because it is all happening like right now.

Like maybe there are cameras in my bedroom right now, filming me type this post, and that will be in the next episode.

Except it won't, because there are no cameras here, which is good because my hair is a MESS.

But hey, Ted and whoever approves this post..come film from my house. But bring some of that three million because I am short on cash.

Go watch the video. And if you haven't signed up for PPP yet, click that big old button over there on the right.

Cycle

2006-12-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of glad I have put everything on hold. My period is a little whacked and I've been so sick the past 24 hours. I still am a little sad about everything baby related. The good news is that we know someone who works with adoptions. Geo had a talk with her and she is keeping me in mind. She was really positive. So we will see what happens. Maybe a baby is in the future. I just don't know.

Stag and Hen

2006-12-11T08:48:00.000-08:00

I'd heard the term stag before but not hen. Apparently these are the UK equivalents of the US bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Red Seven Leisure is a company based out of the UK that organizes these Hen and Stag weekends all over the world. They've got all kinds of plans you can do if you are looking for a weekend trip or just one night. My favorite one is the celebrity idol package. You get to go to a recording studio with your friends and record a song. You get two hours in there and then copies of the song you and your friends record. After that you head to a big nightclub in London.

That sounds like something I'd totally love doing.

Nursery

2006-12-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

One thing I like about the BDH is that there is going to be a separate area for the kids. Bug's room, which will also house any other girls that come live with us has a large bedroom area, a huge closet room and a big full size bath with double sinks.

It reminds me of the Sound of Music. "There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall and the bells in the steeple too..and up in the nursery an absurd little bird.."

I guess nursery usually is meant to mean a baby's room, but it can be for whatever kiddos end up here.

And I just told my landlord I was moving out and you know how I can't stand doing things like that. He was pissed but oh well! What can you do?

More Money for Baggage

2006-12-10T19:14:00.000-08:00

So I've started my New Year's Resolutions early.

I have two.

The first is to use the Love and Logic Parenting sytem with Bug more often. I'll write more about that later.

The second is to earn $100 a day, not including my disability money and my adoption subsidy. I've set up a tracking system for me so I can be accountable. I work at home, so sometimes I slack off more than I should. But now with the BDH and having to pay back my student loans (yuck) and the possibility of some more kids..I need to try to bring in at least $100 a day. If I add that to the other money I get, I'd be doing really well.

One easy way to earn money is through blog money. You don't have to be a big time blogger to earn some extra cash. I know you all know this already, but I'm telling you again. Anyway, PPP started a new affiliate program. On the left sidebar, you'll see a button where you can click it and sign up for PPP. If you do, I get some money! Yay for me!

But Yay! for you too. Because once you sign up, you can not only earn money from the PPP postings, but you can put the button on your site too. And then when people click on it and sign up, you earn some money.

And money is always good, whether it is for sperm or barbie dream houses or shoes.

Anyway, money is good. PPP is an easy way to get money. And now I'm going to bed.

Babies

2006-12-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

It is funny what spending 24 hours with a sick baby can do to you. There were moments were I felt very sad that I didn't have a baby, and there were other moments I was counting down until I could pass him off.

Sometimes I wonder if I don't enjoy children Bug's age more than I would babies. I mean don't get me wrong, I adore babies. They are cute as hell. But Bug is cute as hell too, and you can interact with her and do things with her and you can have more of a life with an older child than you can with a baby.

Maybe I am cut out for older children and not young ones. Or maybe I am just protecting my heart. It's hard to say.

Money money money.

2006-12-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

Damn it all to hell.

Turns out I screwed up. The shipping costs as much as the sperm itself. So I'll probably have to put the plans on hold for awhile. It is frustrating (then again what money problems are?) It's not even that I don't have the money, it is just thinking that the money could be better spent on something that has a higher probability of bringing happiness. That is how I am looking at it. It is hard to know, but with the new house now..I think that was the right way to go.

CD29.....WOOHOOO!

2006-12-05T11:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Baggage,

Thank you for submitting the requested documentation. Your client registration paperwork has been processed and you are now eligible to order donor sperm for home inseminations without a dewar deposit.

Yay!!!!!!!

So now the next step is calling to see which donors are available and ordering. I'm excited but terrified.

Got it..

2006-12-04T13:11:00.000-08:00

the fax that is. Having a little spotting so I think my period is on the way.

Of course, now my fax will be reviewed "in the order in which it arrived" so who the hell knows when they will have me in the system. But I'm excited!

CD28

2006-12-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

So here I am..CD28. I've got mild cramping, but no signs of my period yet. I faxed over my "proof that I live here" bill and am just waiting to hear back that everything is approved.

Last night, it was kind of strange, but Geo and I sat in bed and looked at the list of sperm donors. There is actually a guy that has the same physical characteristics as him, is a big racing fan, and actually has the same ethnic background. It was weird. It was fun to look through the listings with him though..I guess people who use DI in a relationship have to do the same thing.

So that's about it. I'm just holding right now to see when my period is going to start and when the sperm people approve me, and if they are going to make me pay a deposit and then get that whole thing started.

I think I'm going to try this month. Maybe just one vial, but I have no proof that I'm not ovulating out of Elphaba. So I think it is worth a shot.

So stay tuned, the next couple of weeks should be interesting.

Sponsored Post

2006-12-04T11:13:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am with another sponsored post from PayPerPost.

This post is basically to let you know that they really do pay people for posting on your blog. Your blog doesn't have to be super popular or get tons of traffic. It just has to be around for 90 days or more and have at least 20 posts.

I don't do a lot of these posts, but people who do have made thousands of dollars so far. On the website you can see how much the top earners have gotten. I don't like to flood my blog with advertisements but when I see something that I don't mind talking about, I take it.

After all, this post will get me another $10 dollars. Which makes my total on this blog $30. That is over 10% of a sperm vial! Wow! PPP wanted me to tell you what I'm going to do with the money I earned, but I'm not sure if they have any other bloggers who are saving up money for sperm. Maybe I'll start a club.

Anyway, if you are short on cash or want to buy some sperm or some cute shoes or something, check it out. Oh! And if you do sign up, use my email (mamabaquita@gmail.com) as the one who referred you. Then I'll get an extra five bucks once you make your first approved post.

And just think. That means you contributed to 1/40th of a vial of sperm. Isn't that fun, in a sick and twisted kind of way????

No hope

2006-12-02T21:43:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about why I feel hesitant about trying in December. I realized it is because I feel like there is NO chance I can get pregnant AT ALL. Not in December, not ever. And if I somehow managed to get pregnant, I feel like I would lose the baby.

I guess my former attempts at trying have really made me lose hope.

Yes, I know, things are different now. With the abnormal bleeding and thickened lining I wouldn't of gotten pregnant. The doc says there is no reason why I can't get pregnant.

But all I can think about is my stupid bad tube and my stupid bad ovary.

It is not a lot of money. Yes, a vial costs 200 bucks, but that isn't a ton of money. Especially if it results in a baby. But the problem in my head is that I don't think there is any chance of it working, so I feel like I would just be throwing the money away. I don't know how to shake that feeling.

Thursday Thirteen

2006-11-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Facts about MY REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM

1. I had a tubo-ovarian abscess.
2. And Pelvic inflammatory disease.
3. Which made me really sick, and miss 2 1/2 months of school.
4. When I started to try for a baby, I couldn't get pregnant.
5. I started bleeding all the time after I ovulated.
6. This lasted for years.
7. They kept switching me to different birth control pills.
8. But it never worked.
9. Finally, they found out my uterine lining was too thick.
10. So they did a D&C to clean it out.
11. I also had a lap done, which determined that my left ovary and tube are completely wrapped in scar tissue.
12. They aren't able to be seen on ultrasound, hence the title of this blog.
13. I'm hoping me and my one good tube can still have a baby. Stay tuned.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Dream

2006-11-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

Geo: I forgot to tell you, I was so mad at you when I woke up the other morning
Me: Huh? How come?
Geo: I had this dream where I was sitting there watching TV and this guy showed up at the door and asked for you. He was this dorky looking guy. And you said, "He's the sperm donor." And I said, "What? I thought you were going through a sperm bank." and you said, "Well, I still am paying him!" and I said, "You are so lame" and I left.
Me: Wow.
Geo: Yeah, the whole thing was lame.
Me: I'd say.

Sponsored Post

2006-11-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

I told you all before that in addition to tracking my attempts to get knocked up, I was going to be doing some paid blogging on this site in order to raise some extra dough. I know some people have issues with paid blogging, but I think it can be done in a way that doesn't suck for the reader. For instance, you all know this is a sponsored post, so if you want to go away and not read it you can. But personally, I don't take any paid opportunities unless I think it is something interesting. So hopefully, you will find it interesting too. I blog about things that I like anyway, and so if someone wants to pay to advertise on blogs then hey. Rock on.

Oh so the point of all of this:

I wanted to tell you why I love PayPerPost. PPP gives me money for blogging. For instance, I'm getting paid $10 bucks to tell you how much I love PPP. So $10 is 1/20th of a vial of sperm. So technically, PPP is responsible for 1/20th of my attempt at getting pregnant! Wow! The power of the internet.

Every time I make a post like this it means I am one step closer to picking out some kick ass baby clothes.

And that is why I love PPP.

The end.

2006-11-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

THIRTEEN NAMES THAT I'VE CONSIDERED FOR MY FUTURE CHILD WHICH ARE BASED ON BROADWAY PLAYS

1. Elphaba. Ok. So I probably won't name my kid Elphaba. But I'd like to, because I love her character so much. And she could go by Elphie. And that's kind of cute. Right? Hello?

2.Galinda. I love the way this name sounds when sung such as in "And Galinda helped it come true.." However, I recognize that people don't go around singing other people's names very much.

3. Liesel. I have always wanted to name my daughter Liesel.

4. Logan. For a girl, because I know a guy named Logan and I wouldn't want to name a kid after him.

5. Belle.

6. Nessa.

7. Sarah. As in Fruma Sarah. Ha.

8. Tom.

9. Max. As in Uncle Max.

10. Christmas Eve. Ok, maybe not. But you have to admit it would be kind of cool to be named Christmas Eve. Or maybe that is just me.

11. Oliver.

12. Olive. I love Olive. She is one of my favorite Broadway characters.

13. Marcy. She speaks six languages. And that is cool.

CD16

2006-11-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

I just got a +OPK. Last night I had significant right side ovulation pain. Had EWCM this morning.

All indication are that I am ovulating out of my right side right about now or in the next little bit.

Which is good to know, as it came later than day 14 I guess.

On the flip side, I had pain on my left side last month and my right side this month so I am assuming that means I'm ovulating on my right side right now. Which is my good side, which is bad because I have no sperm.

Got that?

So the logical thing would be to sit next month out because an egg produced by the left side is likely to end up in Cancun sipping a mai tai or something. Now, I guess there are a few possibilities...the left side could release an egg which could find its way out of the scar tissue jungle into the open right tube. I could ovulate on my right side for a second time.

I guess it is worth a shot, the only problem of course is that each time I try I have to shell out the money.

I'll probably just try one vial anyway. Maybe two if I can make some extra cash. I don't know. It is all very frustrating to have this one malfunctioning tube. I almost wish they had taken it out like they are considering for next time. The good news is that this is cycle #1 as far as I'm concerned. Once I hit 6 cycles, I'm heading back to the doctor if I'm not pregnant. He might not do anything at that point but I'm taking a proactive approach from now on. If someone had done this surgery back when Kenny and I were trying things could have been a lot different.

Sperm in a vial vs sperm in a man

2006-11-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

DD asked:

If you and your man got back together, would you just try the old-fashioned way or still through donor...and why?

Well that is kind of a loaded question and what I've been dealing with in regards to Geo.

We've been talking for awhile, especially after the recommendation from Bug's psychiatrist that it would certainly be beneficial for the two of them to continue some form of contact. So we've had dinner or he's come here or we've gone there and it has been nice.

Geo has offered to make some changes..go to counseling, change his phone and email, and a bunch of other things. But when it comes down to it, the fundamental issue we have had trouble with is kids.

He loves Bug so much. However, he was not at all sure about me adopting a child. He went as far as saying that he might leave if a kid came home. But I went through with the adoption anyway. And he came around, really quickly.

But he is not ready to try for a baby. He isn't excluding the idea that he might be ready in a few months, or a year or anything, but he does not want to try right now.

Which left me with a decision.

What was most important to me?

And what I came up with, after a lot of agonizing soul searching, was the idea that I try for a biological baby and that I try NOW was most important.

The NOW is the important part here.

Women only have a finite time which they can achieve pregnancy. They also have a window where they are more fertile than other times. In addition, people who have the same type of surgery I had typically are most fertile in the first 6 months to a year. There could be a large increase in the amount of scar tissue, because scar tissue tends to grow back. Also, there is some evidence to support that shooting dye through a tube increases your chances. Also, no one is quite sure why I had an increase in my uterine lining which led to the round the month bleeding. It's not cancer, there are no physical reasons why it was happening. Which means it could happen again requiring another D&C.

Those are the physical reasons. As far as emotionally, I went through that whole surgery which was very difficult to do emotionally. I dealt with the aftermath of finding out that I only had one functioning tube. I first started trying for a baby eight years ago, and while it hasn't been a continuous thing, it has been something that I have wanted now for eight years. That is eight years of trying to avoid the baby aisle in Walmart. Except when I had my two foster babies which just reinforced the idea of a baby in my head. I would like to try to have a baby before I'm thirty. Thirty lines up with several things..a drop in fertility, an opening of some international adoption programs to me which were closed because of my age.

Plus, I have a 10 year old. If I have a baby, my children will already be far apart in age. Bug and baby Eldoo (my hypothetical baby) will already not have that same kind of sibling bond that I had with my siblings who were two and four years younger than I was.

And I would like to add at least two more children to my family. Through adoption or birth.

SO...all that is to say that I am not willing to wait for Geo to decide that he does want kids and he does want them now.

Which, to finally answer DD's question, means that yes. Yes, if I got back with Geo I would still try to get pregnant through a sperm donor. If Patrick Dempsey divorced his wife and came hunting after me, I would still try to get pregnant with a sperm donor.

I can always have a relationship, I can always find myself someone to love. But I only have a certain window in which I can have children, and so I'm going to try to do that. I need to do this now, for me.

(However, just an aside, if he was willing to have children the old fashioned way, I would have to think about it. I've been a single mom here for awhile and I don't know if I'd want someone else telling me what to do with my kid. One obvious advantage would be the cost though. I'm not too concerned with the biological aspects of it. I don't really care about having a child that is biologically related to me)

Left/Right

2006-11-21T20:34:00.000-08:00

Ok someone help me here. If I had a left side ovary issues..is that MY left side?? Why did I think it was the doctor's right? Is it my left?

In other news, I am having right side ovulation pain. Someone over on the main blog said they had ovulation pain on the opposite side that they ovulated.

I just want next month to be a chance.

So which side of me is the screwed up one? My left??? or the doctor's left?

Pretty!

2006-11-20T17:39:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new template! The fabulous Amy made it for me and I couldn't be happier. Please check out her link on the left sidebar.

And yes, that is exactly what I look like in real life.

CD13

2006-11-19T12:44:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling depressed. The monitor showed high fertility, I'm starting to see changes in my CM..and I'm having some right side pain. Last month I had left side pain. I am hoping this is just a fluke because that will mean next month would be a left side ovulation.

It's so frustrating. I can't believe I had to sit this month out. I am unsure what I should do next month. Should I try at all? Try with one vial? Try with two? Ugh.

CD8

2006-11-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

Still have to send the stupid sperm bank something that shows I live here. How annoying. I'm very annoyed with their whole system.

The good news is that I got the test strips for my fertility monitor. I'm just going to use this time to get a better read on my cycles and see if I can't pinpoint things even better.

We'll see what happens. But I definitely can't do anything this month at all. Which is a bummer to say the least.

On the flip side, I'm so glad that the surgery has fixed all the bleeding and other assorted bullshit I was dealing with. At least that is something.

Sponsored Post

2006-11-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

This is a cool show. PINKS is a show where if you lose the race, you lose your car. On November 23rd you can see an all day marathon of PINKS followed by premiere of PINKS All Out on Speedtv.

I love the guy who says that next to his wedding night this is the greatest thing in his heart that has ever happened. HAHA. We'll be checking out this show as we cook our Thanksgiving feast :) We love racing in our house. You can check out Drag Racing Clips online as well.

This post was sponsored by speedTV.com.

CD7

2006-11-13T17:03:00.000-08:00

I'm getting pretty darn annoyed with the sperm bank. Just got this email:
DearBaggage,

Thank you for submitting your client registration paperwork however it was incomplete. Please submit the following:
1.) You listed your employer as XYZ- what does this stand for?
2.) The address you listed as your home address does not match that listed on your driver's license. Please provide another document allowing us to confirm your home address such as a legible copy of a utility bill in your name.
Thank you.

Please note that we would not be able to accept any orders for donor sperm until we have received and processed each of the items listed above. All incoming mail is opened and processed in the order it is received so please allow approximately five business days for processing once we have received the above items and longer if the information and/or documents are incomplete. Thank you.

How freaking annoying. Of course, nowhere does it say that my drivers license has to match my home address. And nevermind that this is the SECOND time I've sent them my drivers license and they never said anything in the first place. And I hate that they are so damn nosy about your employer.

It is really annoying that you have to jump through hoops to get something that I could get a LOT more easily if you know what I mean.

Edited to add:
I just got another email:
Dear Baggage,

In the client registration paperwork you submitted in January of 2006 you indicated that you were a student and foster Mom. In the client registration paperwork you submitted this month you indicated that you are employed by XYZ. Please clarify your current employment situation. Thank you.

Is this really that hard to figure out??

No go

2006-11-11T12:41:00.000-08:00

No chance for November. Probably will sit December out too.

Damn it all to hell.

2006-11-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Baggage,

We have received your client paperwork however it will now go through a review process to determine if it is complete and to determine if a dewar deposit will be required before your client chart can be created. Please note that this process will require approximately five business days to complete, longer if the information and or documentation submitted are incomplete.

I would recommend that you wait approximately a week and then call to confirm if your chart has been completed by calling XXX Monday through Friday except holidays between 8:30 am and 4:45 pm PT. Please note that we would not be able to accept any orders for donor sperm until your client registration paperwork has been determined to be complete, has been processed and your client chart has been completed.

Once the review process has been completed and you have become a registered client please call XXX Monday through Friday except holidays between 8:30 am and 4:45 pm PT to place orders for donor sperm. Please place orders for donor sperm with as much notice as possible but no later than the first day of your period for the cycle in which you plan to inseminate. Please note that we recommend that you arrange to receive orders of donor sperm on the day that you plan to begin utilizing your ovulation predictor test kit. Never arrange to have donor sperm delivered on the day that you plan to utilize the specimen(s). Donor sperm should never be shipped on a next day delivery basis.

**********
Well shit. If it takes them 5 business days to process it, that puts me at CD10 at least. So it looks like this month is a bust. Even if they process it right away, I'm already at CD4. I don't know if there is anyway to get around this or if I'm just going to have to miss this whole month.

DAMN IT.

Tear you Up.

2006-11-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

Bug: You know how they said some women get sperm from a donation?
Me: Yes.
Bug: Well if you have a bilogic child that way are they going to tear you up?
Me: Huh?
Bug: To put the sperm in. To meet the egg. Are they going to cut your stomach open?
Me: Oh. No.
Bug: Well, then how is the sperm going to get to the egg?????

C1CD4

2006-11-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

So..can I just say how nice it is not to have to worry about bleeding for 20 days out of the month. That alone makes my surgery worth it. And to think, I've been bleeding like that for YEARS now. No wonder I didn't get pregnant. (Well, that and the missing ovary)

So now I am just in a waiting game. I'm waiting to hear back from the sperm bank to see that they have processed my paperwork. Then I can go ahead and make my first order. I wish I knew which side I was ovulating out of. I guess I could try to convince them to let me have ultrasounds, but they don't know I am using donor sperm and I don't know all the rules and stuff. Plus..I'm not sure how it would work because I have to have the sperm shipped and I'm not doing it through them, so they might not like that.

I guess my hesitation in using 2 vials every month is because I have this idea that it is never going to work. So each time is just "throwing 400 dollars away." Now, if someone said for 5000 dollars I could make you pregnant right now, I'd do it right? And for 5000 I can try two vials a month for a year.

But if I get pregnant quickly, is someone going to say it is because I adopted? Because I really will punch them.

C1CD3

2006-11-09T19:11:00.000-08:00

I feel like the idea of getting pregnant is so abstract. I can't wrap my head around the idea.

I talked to Geo again..I told him that I was ready to move ahead with my baby plans. I gave him one last chance to work on things. We couldn't agree. So...that's that.

I wanted to make sure that there was no chance before I moved on. I'm glad we talked. It is sad but I want kids and I want to be happy. I have waited a long time to have a chance to get pregnant.

I have a chance. I don't know how much of a chance it is. But it is a chance.

For the first time, I have a chance.

2006-11-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to start posting about my TTC efforts on this blog. That way I can keep it kind of separate from the other blog. Not much going on yet. I've submitted the paperwork. That was yesterday. Should hear back from them soon and then I can place an order. I'm still deciding whether I want to go with one vial or two this month. Two ups my chances, but of course is twice as expensive.

Reading

2006-11-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

Bug seems to be doing well in fifth grade, although they aren't really bringing home many graded papers. I'm not sure what is going on with that, but am going to check into it.

She's learning about Jamestown in history, and simple machines in science. Comes home stinking to high heaven on PE days. She's signed up to play on the school intermural basketball team so that should be fun.

She also reads constantly. It amazes me. She always has a book in her hand. She NEVER used to read and now she won't stop. I love it.

Not homeschooling

2006-10-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do with this blog. Maybe I'll continue to keep as a record of Bug's education...what she is learning, how she is improving.

I'm not sure that it would be of any interest to anyone but me though. That's ok though I guess for now. Until I decide what else to write about over here.

Now I just need to start sorting homeschooling stuff out to sell!!

Trying to do Better

2006-10-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm not doing a great job updating this blog. It has been crazy with my surgery and then moving and now I'm trying to catch up on MY school work.

Homeschooling Bug is good because I used to believe that if she didn't do XYZ in her schoolbooks she was not learning anything. But now I see she learns from the world. For instance, I had her write a paper on the moving process and it was funny to see the things that she picked up on. I'll have to post it here a little later.

Her writing is definitely improving and she is reading nonstop. Now that we are getting settled I'm going to start giving her more textbook work to do so we can get through the curriculum things we need to do. She also is taking chess, and going to Awana's and joined a children's choir. She'll be starting dance next week and I'm going to look into getting her into basketball. She needs to be around more kids. I wish she had a sibling. The goal still is to get her caught up enough so that she can return to public school next year.

She is improving though and that makes me proud.

Weddings and Learning

2006-09-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

So my mom told me about this site where they have a lot of cool wedding stuff. Since I'm getting married soon, Bug has been all excited about trying to plan stuff out. We still aren't sure what we are going to do because we are having a small wedding.

But I decided to do an assignment with her that was fun and would help her feel like she was involved in the planning. I gave Bug a budget and set her loose on the site. She had to pick out things she thought we should have at our wedding, add up the totals, and keep under budget.

She actually did good. She had some crazy choices, but a lot of stuff she picked was really nice. Out of everything, the thing she liked the best was the Cinderella candy bar wrappers. She is in a big time princess phase lately. She picked out these invitations because she said I like pink and brown. (True!) Her other choice was these because blue and brown is the color scheme in our bedroom.

And she threw in these baby announcements because thinks Mommy should have a baby and Bug's favorite stuffed animal is her "lamby" which her Nana gave her.

I think I might actually take some her suggestions. This was a fun thing to do with her..I'll have to do more exercises like this in the future.

Homeschooling and MIT

2006-09-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Just Enough passed on a link from MIT about homeschooling. The whole thing is good, but just wanted to pass it along because MIT does not require a GED from homeschooled children.

I love anonymous

2006-09-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

Wow..I love anonymous posters. You know, the ones that have NO CLUE as to what they are talking about.

Here is my great comment:
Wow! I sure am happy that so many people are gaining insight into the Home Schooling (tm) idea. now all we need to do is break those darn Evil Teacher's Unions (ETU). Those ETUs are sucking the life-bloood from our schools. Once We destroy the ETUs, all of the schools can close and everyone will school their own kids. Then, on to the Evil Left Wing Universities. Imagine a Home School (tm) university! What a break through. Who needs those lazy teachers and professors anyway. Just read your kiddie a book and all of that great educatin' is done. Sure is easy.

And now, the real world. What you get from Home Schoolin' is a GED. That's the same thing high school drop outs get when they go back to high school. As an employer, I wouldn't hire someone with a GED over a REAL High School Graduate. And now I need to ask my job applicants if they were home schooled so I can AVOID HIRING THEM. This sucks.

And what I would email them if they weren't so chicken shit:

Um. Maybe you should, you know, read the rest of my blog before you make ignorant comments. First off, my daughter is 10. She's not going to high school for another 4 years. We've made no decision about homeschooling past this year.

Oh, and the reason she is homeschooled? Because she was in foster care. And had to move 23 times. So she missed out on a huge part of her REAL school education. And then guess what happened? She went to public school, but they didn't have time to give her extra help to catch her up. Actually, they don't even have tutors at the public school.

And guess what else? I don't read her a book. I educate her, because I understand how to do fifth grade work. And third and fourth and the other things that we work on. I also teach her way more than she would learn at the public school. Things like Latin, character building, reading classical literature. Current events. Religions of the world. There aren't too many public school 10 year olds who speak Latin and have weekly chess lessons as part of their curriculum.

Not to mention, there are some who believe the GED is actually quite difficult. And receiving a GED is not the only option for children who are homeschooled through high school. Many schools allow you to receive a "REAL" high school diploma by registering with their program and having the work reviewed by one of those EVIL REAL teachers. Also, there are a lot of colleges who don't even require homeschoolers to receive a high school degree. In fact, even as far back as 1989 when homeschooling was nearly as common as it is today, the Dean of Admissions at Harvard said:
....on the whole, homeschooling is an educational asset that Harvard considers favorably when making its admissions decisions. "One often sees a self-reliance and independence, as well as intellectual curiosity in people with unusual educational experiences," Fitzsimmons says. Homeschooled students, he says, "do just as well as most all students who come here do."

Oh, and that EVIL TEACHER'S UNION, let's see, what did you call it? An ETU? My mother and sister are both teachers. Damn them.

And the whole college thing? Yeah, I'm a college student graduating in December. Because I hate public schools so damn much. I should have homeschooled myself through college.

If you decide to not hire people who have GED's because you have a bias against homeschoolers, then maybe you should take some more time to educate yourself because it appears that you are pretty ignorant. After all, you posted on a blog which you obviously didn't bother to read. Besides, my daughter is 10. The only job she'll be doing is sweeping the floor and cleaning her room.

After I finish reading her a book, that is.

Homeschooling when sick

2006-09-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

Please go check out my renter!!

I forgot to take my Wellbutrin last night and so I had to take it this morning. I hate that, because I end up feeling so sick all day long. Also, I am a little nervous about having to deal with Bug after my surgery. I know I can just take time off, but that makes me feel bad. If I don't teach her, I feel bad. I know we are already a month ahead of the PS kids and that this is supposed to be a benefit of homeschooling. I know I just need to get out of the mindset that she needs to do XYZ in order for it to be educational. I just am not sure how.

Say hello to my renter!

2006-08-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

My renter this week is "Am I annoying you yet?" This blog gives you advice on what foods are good to eat, how to stay in shape, and how to be a healthier person. It was interesting to me to read through some of her advice, as I know that there are a lot of things that I do that aren't very healthy. Please check her blog out by clicking on the button on the right! Thanks!!

Day 23

2006-08-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

Things are going better here. We started using the new Abeka science book and so far Bug likes it. I have started using part of the Charlotte Mason method..using narrations. I have Bug read the assigned lesson and then come and "teach it" to me. She likes that a lot.

I have been having her do a reading response journal for each chapter of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe." She really hated it at first, but yesterday she flew through it. I'm not grading on grammar or spelling or punctuation (as Geo said, Thank God!) but just getting her thoughts down on paper.

I picked up a third grade Language Arts workbook this weekend. I flipped through it and realized that she doesn't know how to do most of it, so I got that. I've put the higher grade stuff aside and focused on this. I still think that she is just missing the education of how to properly use grammar, punctuation and spelling. I don't think it is a learning disability at this point.

My main reason for thinking that is how well she is picked up Latin. In fact, it almost seems that she can speak Latin better than she can speak English! But it only shows that if she is taught step by step what words mean, how to spell them, how to use them in sentences..then she is able to use them correctly. I just think no one ever took the time to teach her those things.

She also has been reading a lot on her own lately. That is a huge improvement and I think it will only help to increase her vocabulary and understanding of English.

Krissy asked me how I keep interested in teaching her things like math. Well, I think that is one of the misconceptions about homeschooling..that it consists of Mom teaching like a public school teacher would.

A lot of Bug's time is spent working on her own. I will teach her something and then she will do something to practice. Or she will read and then teach it to me. So for instance, today we learned about how artists use perspective in their artwork. So I showed her some paintings, we talked about the techniques, and then I sent her off to create her own artwork using perspective. So the actual time I had to spend teaching was only like 15 minutes and then she worked on her own for awhile. I don't teach her in a lecture format where I stand up and talk for 45 minutes and she just listens. Bug is a very hands-on type of learner. So she needs to do it herself to understand. Plus, teaching goes so much faster when you only have one student. If she gets it, you can move on and not have to worry about what the other 30 kids are doing. If she doesn't get it, you can slow down and review. For instance, we've been doing the same addition and subtraction problems for the past three weeks because she is still not regrouping/borrowing correctly. But she is starting to get it now. We don't move on until she has got it because it will just affect all the other attempts at math. But when she was in public school, she failed the test and they just kept going. So it just became a cycle of failure for her which hurts in more ways than one.

So basically my day has a lot of short lessons and then short breaks until we are done. And usually it is no more than 3 or 4 hours combined so it leaves plenty of time to do what other things we need. Plus, we can learn math in a grocery store, or making a cake, etc. which helps.

Done!

2006-08-18T15:54:00.000-07:00

It is 5:49 on Friday and the Bug is done with all of her work! YAY!!! She really did a good job getting all caught up. I haven't graded most of it yet so not sure how she did, but her self motivation the rest of the week was awesome!!

Day 20

2006-08-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems I am finally breaking the Bug down. The no tv, no computer, no race cars, no sodas, bedtime at 7 and..AND (this is the biggie) no playing with the PS kids until her work is done.

So yesterday she busted her butt, and she's gotten a lot of work done today too. I've gone back a little and done some lower level work with her, and she liked that. I think it gave her some confidence.

Plus, and this is funny, but she is so damn motivated by these animal stickers. They have photographs of animals on them and she LOVES them. She gets so freaking excited if she gets one.

Hey, if that is all it takes. Isn't it funny that we tend to overthink things with kids? If all it takes is a damn koala sticker to motivate the kid, then right on.

The one thing I'm proud of is her reading response journal. We're reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" and after each chapter I have her write a page about her opinions. Chapter one took her about nine years to write about. But yesterday she did both 3 and 4 and it was actually interesting to see what she thought.

I've felt a little remorse because public school started but I think it is mostly because I am nervous that I'm going to screw everything up.

We'll be signing her up for a parks and rec program probably, and she is going to start gymnastics in the next few weeks. We're also going to get involved with the two homeschooling co-ops around here. So that might help give me a moment to breathe.

Day 19

2006-08-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

You all had some great ideas. I have been tossing around the idea of a Mommy directed day too as Wen suggested.

I also upped the ante on consequences of not finishing because by yesterday evening she had not even finished Monday's work yet, much less start on Tuesday's. So I said that it was obvious that she wasn't getting enough sleep to do work and on days where she doesn't finish, she will go to bed at 7pm. Bummer!!

Then this morning was the first day of public school and as she was taking out the dog she saw some of the kids she knew from when we lived here before. I think that motivated her a little more too because she knows she can't play with them until her work is done.

Anyway, she is doing a lot already this morning and I received this note:

Dear Mommy,
I am really sorry I did not get my work done. Today I am goning to work Tuseday for 4 hours and Todays for 4 hour From now on I will do my work.
love,
Bug

Maybe something snapped in her mind??

In other news, I got two books I had gotten off of vegsource in the mail today. They are both Abeka books, which are Christian textbooks. One is a 6th grade science book and one is a 4th grade English book. The Science book had the tests and quizzes and all which was nice. I got both for under 10 bucks total.

I don't know..I like having a pre-planned curriculum for somethings, and some not. It does make it less challenging for me, but I don't know how it effects the Bug's learning yet. So that is something I am continuing to check out.

I don't really mind that it is all Christian..the science book is "Observing God's World" and the English is God's Gift of Language. Bug would identify herself as a Christian even if I wouldn't. And I definitely want to expose her to things like creationism, with the understanding that she is also going to be exposed to evolution and comparative religions and the like. I have no problem with Bug deciding she wants to be a Christian, but I want her to come to that decision through her own study and understanding of what that means.

All in all, better day today. I'm going to be having surgery at the beginning of September. Hopefully this won't kick my butt too much making things harder.

Day 17

2006-08-14T12:25:00.000-07:00

Bug spent all day Saturday and all day Sunday doing schoolwork. She was not a happy Bug.

Here's our policy:

During the weekend I sit down and plan out lessons for each day. I don't set times for each lesson. I would just write something like "Lion Witch Wardrobe Chapter 3--silent reading." I'd say the total amount of time for each day would be between 3 and 5 hours. Public school children don't get much more than this if you figure lunch, recess, standing in lines, etc.

Those hours are not including any "extras" such as chess or library time etc.

We get up around 6:30. Geo takes a shower and usually Bug and Geo have breakfast together. He lives around 7:20 for work. Bug takes her medication and then is required to stay lying down in bed until 8 am. At 8 am she can get up, but she has to stay quietly in her room. At 9 she is allowed to come out. Usually we start school around then or a little after.

Bug dictates her own day.

There are two catches:

#1. We do grades here. Some homeschoolers don't. We do because I don't know how long we are going to homeschool and one main goal of homeschooling is to get Bug invested in her own success. Any assignment that receives a grade of C or less is stamped for corrections. Each day, or every few days depending on his schedule Geo looks over all of Bug's papers. He helps her correct the things she got wrong.

#2. Any day that Bug does not finish all of the assigned work for that (unless it is caused by some outside reason) she is not allowed to watch tv, or play on the computer. She is allowed outside playtime or in her room time. Last week, Bug watched no tv.

The rule is that Saturday at race track time (about 6:30 pm..the time that Geo goes to the race track) all work must be completed. At the time, any remaining work becomes Mommy's work. This means that she will work on it until bedtime Saturday and work on it all day Sunday until it is done, plus all corrections.

The hope, of course, is that Bug will start to clue in that if she buckles down and works she can be done in three or four hours. Way before the PS kids. She then has plenty of time for free play, tv etc.

Last week, she did basically nothing. She had a ton of work left at the race track cut-off. Immediate consequence? She was not allowed to go watch the races. She was then told to either do her work or go to bed. She read a book. Not one of the choices, so she was sent to bed.

On Sunday, we made it a point for Geo to ask if Bug could go help him unload his race car. For Bug this is like finding the golden ticket in a Wonka bar.

"Oh, sorry!" I said. "She's still not doing with her schoolwork."
"Oh no! Bug! I'm sure you only a few minutes left right?"

Bug was seriously pissed off.

Kind talks followed about the advantages of homeschooling. How she can spend more time doing what she wants. How we can do all this fun stuff on the weekend. How if she does her work right the first time, she can have no corrections.

At bedtime last night, she said this week was going to be different.

Cut to today.

One thing that Bug does is copywork. Copywork is a few sentences and it is basically handwriting practice. The requirement is that she is using perfect execution. This is one thing that we require perfection in. She needs to take her time, and make nice careful strokes. This is even more about patience, pride in your work, etc. than handwriting, but seriously. You should see her handwriting. It's crap. However, if she tries she can produce beautifully copied work.

So she goofed around with her work for about an hour. At the hour mark she turned in a big sloppy mess.

No go. Try again.

Second try was just as bad.

Third try was crap. I showed her again how it should be done.

She decided she would go play outside instead.

It is hard, because my natural instinct is to go grab her butt, sit her down at the desk and force her to do work.

That is not the issue here though. We are looking for internal motivation. Understanding of cause and effect. Understanding about setting goals. Understanding that hard work pays off.

Those are more important lessons than anything I've got in my lesson plans.

And so I sit, biting my tongue. I would much rather her do her work in the morning and be able to play the rest of the day, but she is continuing to make bad choices.

That's the hard part of parenting, isn't it? Letting them make mistakes so they will learn?

Where is she at? Day 15

2006-08-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

Bug chose not to do schoolwork today either, so she is going to have to sit and do it tomorrow. I'm hoping this will be the last time she makes these bad choices. We are trying to get her to realize that since she is homeschooling she can spend LESS time doing work, but she needs to work.

Her "grades" are all over the place. I still feel that her reading comprehension is a problem. But sometimes she does really good on vocabulary type things and sometimes she doesn't. She never reads directions. Her handwriting is horrible.

I feel torn somewhat. I feel like maybe I should swing way back. She's working through a vocab book that are 100 words that your child should know before 4th grade. She's finished with 4th grade and I'd say she knows maybe 10% of the weekly words. She's just so all over the place. She definitely has problems with the reading though. When she reads outloud, it is really bad.

I'm thinking that maybe I'll go back to maybe some 2nd grade books. Just for language arts. Or maybe third grade. I know she missed most of 3rd grade so maybe those are her gaps?

We were doing addition and subtraction in math this week. And she is consistently does not show her work. Everytime she does, she gets it right. Everytime she doesn't, she misses it.

It is so hard to know with her. How much is her quitting? Her rushing? What part is a pure lack of basic knowledge?

She was tested at the beginning of 4th grade and at the end. She tested in the 4th grade reading level, but at the end of the year, her reading level actually went down.

It's still early and this is what I need to figure out.

Today she spent maybe four hours working on a habitat for some rollypolly's. It was so interesting that this ADHD child could spend so much time focused on one activity. I just let her sit out there and do it, even if the rollypolly's didn't seem to like it.

Day 14..Subjects

2006-08-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

For more background, I thought I'd write about the different subjects that I am teaching Bug.

Copywork: This comes from the Charlotte Mason teachings I've read. This is basically handwriting practice, but instead of writing individual letters over and over, Bug writes sentences or paragraphs.

Character Building: Right now we are working through a workbook called "Manners Matter." Basically this is just time for us to talk about some of the "character" issues that Bug has difficulty with or doesn't know. Yesterday she cut out pictures from magazines of appropriate clothing to wear to different social occassions.

Literature Based Unit: We read through a book and we do activities related to it. We started off with "Sarah Plain and Tall" and now we are doing "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." I chose books to start with that Bug was familiar with to try to build her confidence for this.

Language Arts: Reading comprehension, phonics, etc.

Promoting Literacy: This is a number of things..how to write stories, how to give oral reports, what a historical fiction is, poetry etc. We do this on Tuesday and Thursdays.

Math: We are doing some review now and working our way through a math text. Biggest problem so far? Reading what numbers she writes!

Social Studies: A combination of history and geography. Bug loves history and so do I, so it's fun.

Science: This is my only problem area so far. I started off teaching her stuff, but she's not strong in science and I'm thinking I would feel better with a packaged science curriculum. But I don't really want a Christian based one that only teaches creationism. No luck so far.

Vocab: This is big because this is Bug's biggest weakness.

Spelling: Same as above.

Health: I've got an Abeka health book, but this is incorporated in many ways. Cooking, nutrition, shopping all lead into health discussions. Also, I have a very open policy about talking about sex and puberty so we talk about this a lot too since she is going through puberty.

Life Skills: This is a mega mix of home-ec, shop, consumer math, and basically what she needs to know to survive on her own. So far we've talked about bank accounts and tuna fish and she helps with menus. I'm going to get a home-ec set for us too because she is really into cooking and sewing.

Latin: I use Ecce Romani to teach her. I feel strongly about teaching her Latin because I feel that it will help with her vocabulary issues. I took five years of Latin so I am pretty comfortable with it, although I have forgotten a lot. I also have Latin for Children.

Arts: Music, Art, Theatre. We mostly are working on art right now. I have the What your 5th Grader should know book, and we are going through that art section slowly. I give her background on the artist, on the work of art, and then she draws it herself. We also do free art time for her to create her own works.

Chess: She has chess lessons once or twice a week. She's never played before, but doing well already.

It seems like a lot, but some days we don't do certain subjects. Also, I set up weekly goals of what I want to accomplish. A lot of times she can finish a subject in 15 or 20 minutes if she puts her mind to it.

Of course, she is free to take her time too. She knows that the week has to be done though by the start of the next week and so work she did not do will be done on the weekends.

Day 13

2006-08-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I blog over at Baggage That Goes With Mine usually, but I wanted to set up a separate blog to detail what we are doing in homeschool with the Bug. Because I'm sure there are some people who want to read about homeschooling and others who couldn't care less and so I thought I'd separate it a little bit.

Some background..Bug is 10 years old. She was in foster care from the time she was four. She was moved around many many times. I think the total number of moves was around 24. Because of this, her education really suffered. During her 3rd grade year, she was in a residential treatment facility. She had "school" there, but because all of the children were dealing with behavioral or psychological problems, on most days there was really no schooling. Once some of her issues were dealt with, she moved to a regular classroom situation, but only for a few weeks.

I was selected to be Bug's adoptive mother at the end of June and she moved in with me at the end of July. School started a few weeks after that. Bug had very little success in 4th grade. She has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, although that has mostly resolved itself through being in a stable home environment. She also has ADHD. Bug has a hard time sitting still and keeping her mouth shut. She talks almost constantly.

She also had some behavioral issues in school. She stole from some of the other students. She lied about grades or assignments a lot. She once got into a scuffle with another student in a bathroom. She also got in school suspension once for changing grades on her progress report from F's to A's. She honestly thought no one would notice.

Besides her behavioral issues, Bug is missing fundamental building blocks in her education. When she first moved in here, she was reading picture books designed for a 3 or 4 year old. She reads chapter books now, but her comprehension is very poor. The biggest reason I can see for this is that she has a smaller vocabulary than she should at age 10. She skips words while reading and substitutes words if she doesn't know the word. Because reading comprehension is so important to history and science, she was doing poorly in those subjects too.

She was also behind in math. She still doesn't know all of her multiplication tables by heart. She tries to add them up in her head.

Perhaps her biggest problem was a complete lack of motivation. She would argue for hours that a C is a great grade and a D is fine. She really didn't care what her grades were, or she was used to doing bad for so long that she just made herself believe that it didn't matter.

So that is why I decided to homeschool her, for at least this one year to try to get her caught up and to build some confidence. To work on her academic problems as well as trying to help her work through some of these behavior problems. Hopefully I won't screw her up too bad.

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Day 23

Done!

Day 20

Day 19

Day 17

Where is she at? Day 15

Day 14..Subjects

Day 13